8 Signs It’s Time For Couples Therapy
Whether you and your partner have been together for a few weeks or years, couples therapy can help. It’s important to find a therapist that is experienced with working with couples at all stages of their relationship.
It’s also helpful to find a therapist who accepts your insurance. There are some key signs that it’s time for couples therapy: 1. You and your partner fight a lot.
1. You’re arguing a lot
While every relationship experiences disagreements, if you find yourself arguing constantly, or your conversations are filled with negative and aggressive language, it may be time to seek therapy. Aggressive, blaming, and defensive arguments do not belong in any healthy relationship, and counseling can help you learn to debate issues in a more productive way.
Often, a couple will argue about recurrent problems or perpetual issues (as described by Gottman Institute researcher and relationship psychologist John Gottman). A therapist can teach you how to communicate better so you can address these challenges. They can also provide a sounding board so you and your partner can express your feelings and needs.
2. You’re not spending much time together
When the day-to-day routine of life gets in the way, it can be easy for attraction to take a backseat. If you and your partner are feeling more like roommates than romantic partners, it might be time to seek couples therapy.
Money issues can cause a lot of tension in relationships. If you’re constantly fighting about money or one of you has a spending problem, couples therapy can help you learn to communicate better and work as a team.
Remember, it’s best to seek counseling proactively rather than reactively. The sooner you start, the more likely it is that your relationship will succeed. Keep an eye out for the 8 telltale signs you and your partner should go to couples therapy.
3. You’re feeling distant
While it is normal for couples to go through periods of physical distance, if you find that you and your partner are no longer making decisions together or are avoiding discussions about big issues in the relationship, this is a sign that it’s time to see a therapist.
During couples therapy, you can learn to have productive arguments and debate issues without going into defensive mode or attacking your partner. You can also learn to understand and respect your partner’s thoughts, feelings, values, and beliefs.
Couples counseling doesn’t have to be reactive – it can be preventative. If you think your relationship could benefit from some guidance, contact us to schedule an appointment today.
4. You’re not getting along
If you and your partner find yourselves repeating the same fights or arguments over and over again, this is a sign that it’s time to see a therapist. While you might think that fighting less frequently would be a good sign, waiting too long to seek help can cement bad habits in place and leave both partners feeling misunderstood and emotionally disconnected.
Whether you and your partner have been together for weeks or years, couples therapy can help you get back to the place where attraction is present and you’re making time for emotional intimacy. Couples counseling is available for all types of relationships, including married couples, dating couples, and polyamorous or 2SLGBTQIA+ people in unique partnerships.
5. You’re having a hard time communicating
Every relationship has its disagreements and periods of tension, but when the overall tone of your interactions becomes more negative than positive, that could be a sign you need help from a couples therapist. You may also notice that your arguments are more destructive than constructive or that you and your partner tend to come away from disagreements feeling hurt and misunderstood.
You might also notice that the trust you once shared feels shattered. Whether it’s caused by past betrayals or simply because you and your partner have different natural communication styles, rebuilding trust often requires the guidance of a couples therapist. Fortunately, there are several effective techniques to improve your communication skills.
6. You’re feeling stuck
Getting stuck in your relationship can have devastating effects. It’s important to recognize when you’re feeling stuck and seek help before it gets out of hand. In couples therapy, your therapist can help you gain insight into the dynamics that cause feelings of stuckness and teach you how to change dysfunctional behaviors.
Couples counseling can also be helpful for dealing with ongoing relationship issues, such as money problems, incompatible sex drives, or differing parenting philosophies. If you and your partner feel like you’re stuck in a rut, it may be time to see a therapist online or near you. Ultimately, you’ll have a happier, healthier relationship as a result.
7. You’re not happy
Generally, if you’re not happy with your relationship it may be time to seek therapy. This can be caused by a variety of things, such as infidelity, feelings of discontent, and unhealthy communication.
Major life changes such as having a baby, moving, illness, or career change can also be stressful and cause unhappiness in a relationship. A therapist can help you work through these issues and learn new methods of communicating.
Ultimately, the decision to go to couples counseling is a personal one. A therapist can help you and your partner understand each other better and come up with tools that will last long after you finish treatment.
8. You’re feeling alone
Every couple goes through rough patches, but if the overall tone of your relationship is more negative than positive, it’s time to see a couples therapist. Negative interactions can include big-ticket disagreements like family finances or incompatible sex drives, but they also include the more innocuous little arguments that pile up and drain your emotional connection.
Waiting to get help with these problems can create more damage over time, cement bad communication habits and lead to more resentment. And once that happens, it’s a lot harder to turn things around. Seeking counseling earlier means you can start fresh. You may even find that you feel closer as a result.